Allatub's On-Line Journal: May 2015

Sunday, May 31, 2015

Friday, May 29, 2015

Wednesday, May 27, 2015

Tuesday, May 26, 2015

Monday, May 25, 2015

Throw Back Thursday (Memorial Day 2011)

This is where I will be today, but the cemetery show is canceled (watch my Memorial Day 2012 video for the show) due to the weather.

The agenda today includes: The picnic (shown in this video here and on the 2012) and movies.

Sorry if today's video (today's date) is boring. When I get it uploaded, along with the others, you'll see what I have been up to.

OK, I have the video auto playing, so you are watching it all ready.

Enjoy.

Where Am I?

I decided to upload this video NOW instead of "later," in which I talk about...

Saturday, May 23, 2015

Throw Back Thursday (May 14th, 2010)

Throw Back Thursday (May 20th, 2009)

Monday, May 18, 2015

Saturday, May 16th, 2015

OK. This is a long video, so, please sit back, relax, and eat your favorite snack while you watch.

Monday, May 11, 2015

Throw Back Thursday (May 29th, 2010)

Throw Back Thursday (May 28th, 2009)

I was thinking of this video today. The part of this video where I was showing Mom the flowers I gave her and what she said after I shown her the flowers.

Throw Back Thursday (May 27th, 2013)

Visiting The Graveyard

So, I know I haven't been blogging, but only posting some TBT (Throw Back Thursday) videos, so I want to share something with you.

Today, I went to the store and got flowers for both Mom and Grandpa Ray.

And then we (Dad and I) went to the grave and visited with Mom first.

My thumb got in the way of me filming, because I had a lot to hold in my hands, as you can tell.

Next stop was Grandpa's grave, which took a while to find...

I couldn't go to the grave yesterday because Dad's fishing got too late.

Sunday, May 10, 2015

Throw Back Thursday (May 10th, 2011)

Throw Back Thursday (May 10th, 2010)

Throw Back Thursday (May 10th, 2009)

Saturday, May 9, 2015

Throw Back Thursday (August 01st, 2014)

Throw Back Thursday (August 01st, 2012)

Throw Back Thursday (August 02nd, 2011)

I was told that my embeded videos don't play on here, so I want to try to post one that "auto plays."

Here it is for you:

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First time seeing Beach Boys in concert.

Friday, May 8, 2015

Throw Back Thursday (July 28th, 2007)

My first trip to my cousin's house; my second trip to the Mall Of America.

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A lot has changed in seven years, and so this is why I decided to post this video.

Throw Back Thursday (July 19th, 2011)

Men came and took the fallen tree down.

Throw Back Thursday (August 01st, 2010)

Yep, Suzanne was NO good!

Thursday, May 7, 2015

Throw Back Thursday (May 07th, 2010)

Doubts

I am just about having some doubts about somebody right now; if they are really a good influence on me or not.

In the few past months, I have been trying to get them to think more peaceful thoughts and say more peaceful things.

Let Jesus live in you. What would Jesus think if you spoke that way about someone else?

Stuff like that.

I let them know that when they say hurtful things about my aunt, that shouldn't be said, because I am no longer mad at them anymore.

"If they did that to me, I wouldn't forgive them! I don't know how you can..."

Maybe I don't want to hold grudges against someone for six years...? My aunt and I talk on the phone, I go to her house and hug her black cat... If I didn't forgive her for that incident back then, I wouldn't be going to her house and hugging her cat.

The person I have doubts about is a good friend and I care about them. The things they say and how the react to things really worry me.

Just the other day, I was sitting at my computer in my room, they were visiting, and asked me why Dad always harps at me to get my lazy eye fixed.

"I talked to my eye doctor about that, and he said that fixing the lazy eye won't help with the vision in that eye, either."

"So you're comfortable with it," they said to me, "So maybe your dad is embarrassed to have you with him in public. 'This is my daughter. She has a lazy eye.'"

You see? Saying stuff like that, making me think that I am an embarrassment in public with my Dad makes me think if that's true or not.

Can person do this to you, put bad messages in your head like this?

They are also having a hard time in school right now. They told me that after a little critical remark (which to me sounded like they were only helping them out), they get pissed off with their teacher.

"Well, I forgot how to make a picture like that," is what they told me when explaining to me about their teacher.

I held back asking them: "Well, how are you going to do your job, after you get one, if you can't remember what was taught to you in school?"

My one fear for them is: If they can't take criticism NOW, after they get a good paying job of their dreams, are they going to quit because someone was trying to help them in a critical way?

I met this person five years ago, after Mom's death. When I got the chance to know them, I found out that they have anger issues, and it appears to be growing. Dad fears that they are trying to change me into getting angry, but I told him that's not true; I am trying to think more positively about religion and stuff.

OK, so what if my sister has a dog that has bad behavior issues. That doesn't make it okay to say that they wish to have my sister put her dog down (have it killed)...

How I think of a situation like this: If the dog growls at me, I would say, "No, bad dog!" I wouldn't say "SHUT UP!" after I stomp my foot on the floor....

The way how they react to things like how a dog growls at them is an example as to why I feel concerned for them.

They once worked at a restaurant as a dishwasher in the past. The boss at the restaurant said that she should go faster, yelling at her, and she quit because (and I quote them) "I felt like I would stab them to death with a knife if she yelled at me some more."

Sorry to say this, but I did witness them washing dishes at my house, and they ARE slow!

Do you think they have a hard time with hearing and knowing the truth?

Spoke to Dad about this, and how they can't stand his girlfriend. He spoke with her, and she feels hurt by all of what they said and what I had also said about it (because I have issues about his girlfriend).

His girlfriend doesn't want to come along with us all in 2016 after what I had explained to Dad.

"She is only helping you."

I'll explain about Dad's girlfriend later...

Dad also thinks that I should only go to the 2016 trip and leave that someone out of the trip, since they are so negative and can't take criticism that well. Him saying this kind of hurts my feelings, because they are looking forward to the trip and want to see what I want to see. Seeing it from Dad's point of view, I kind of understand.

Yes, they don't like it how others treat me, and they are very protective for me because of that. They have been a good friend, going to the park, parades, and etc... They just need to understand that they need to show some respect for my dad, too.

"I have them eat here, cook them meals, take them home... What do they have against me?"

You see?

I am not perfect either, and need to learn to be more assertive if someone pisses me off. You had heard on my video when the tree came crashing down, Dad yelled at me for no reason, and I didn't like it. In the future, if he would act that same way, I would say: "Nope, you're on your own. I am not helping you with anything after you yell at me like that," and go upstairs to my room.

I have a strained relationship with my sister at this moment, which I will explain later, too, and I had told them all about my issues/problems I have with my sister. Now every time when my sister visits with her daughter, they ask me, "Why does she have to come home all the time?"

Even though my relationship with my sister is strained, and it's hard to trust her, I still wish to at least TRY to get along with her.... So, that shouldn't be their concern or business about my sister visiting.

If I ever run into a situation to where my sister WOULD be rude and impolite with me, I would deal with it MY way!

I even asked them in the past not to be so negative around my sister. I even had tried it in the past. You think and act positively around someone you can't stand or trust, then THEY would act positively around YOU.

They continue to not respect this suggestion of mine what I gave them about thinking and acting positively around my sister when she visits; they continue to ask why she always have to come and stay all the time.

I don't know what else to say... I guess I am posting this blog for input and support on this.

Not sure if they are toxic to me or what!